Crazy (Woman?) Flips The Bird

Now, I didn't want to resort to writing about this today, but since I'm at work and since we're playing the stupid Orioles, and since I don't feel like writing anything serious (because nobody cares what I say when I actually think)...deep breath...I will write about Lady Gaga.

So, basically, as you probably already know, last night at the Mets game, some woman resembling Big Bird from Sesame Street got booed and she flipped the bird. As if that weren't exciting enough on its own, it was, in fact, THE Lady Gaga.

(Take a moment to let it sink in. Be starstruck. Be in awe. Feel alive.)

Now, firstly and obviously, we all know that Miss Gaga's name is quite the contradiction. "Lady" and "Gaga"(the sound babies make) is just flat stupid. But I guess you have to stick out - which is why she decided to wear a coat over a bikini with sunglasses to an overcast Thursday afternoon Met game.

*Pause*


What in the f*** are you thinking?


I also learned last night (even though I still don't remotely care) that GooGoo is, in fact, a Yankees fan. That's cool, us Met fans really don't care. Here is my problem though. If she were planning to get booed by mass amounts of people, just go to a Phillies game...please...spare us.

So...she managed to get people angry at her. I'm angry at her just looking through google image.

Back to the story. Apparently Gaga marched her Big Bird self up and showed her affection for us by waving her middle finger at all of us Mets fans. 10 out of 10 for originality!

Talk about boosting public image. I mean, what, with her pristine looks, excellent wardrobe choices (ok...I can't keep a straight face). She looks like a worn out tire returning from a Skanks Anonymous meeting.

Supposedly she is brilliant at music, but I'd much prefer inserting needles into my c**k than listen to any more predictable pop melodrama.

*Sigh*

I digress. Here are the three things that baffle me the most.

1) why are you wearing a bikini to a game?
2) Why are you wearing it at the wrong stadium?
3) Why in the f*** are you wearing sunglasses? For one thing, it was overcast at best, and for another, it only makes you look stupider than you already look. Quite an accomplishment.

Oh, and 4) WHY IS THIS A STORY?

I'll tell you why. Here's why, folks. Some starstruck batboy who just reached the gates of puberty noticed her big poofy blonde feathers behind home plate. And he told the world.

What to make of all of this?

IT'S LADY GAGA'S FAULT THE METS HOME WIN STREAK IS NO MORE.

Gaga has now surely returned to her cave (studio) wearing her sunglasses and attempting to get some indoor sunbathing done. (Don't tell her it won't work...she might get mad and flip you off...)

I'm done with this.


-Tom Greenhalgh (6/11/10)